dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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