I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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