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Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
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