Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize