Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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