Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize