I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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