I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
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all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
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Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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