Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
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I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
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I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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