so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize