Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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