She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
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They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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