finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
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You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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