I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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