the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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