I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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