For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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