Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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