i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize