This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize