I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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