Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Don't make out with my wife yet
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woke up backwards on a recliner
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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