ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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