Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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