Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
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Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
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Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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