then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize