Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
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so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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