When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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