I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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