I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
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you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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