But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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