We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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