just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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