chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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