maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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