Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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