I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize