I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize