So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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