i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize