too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize