he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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