the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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