Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize