yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize