I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize