Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize