I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize