Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
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I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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