I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize